Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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