Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
