Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish i was in the wii world.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
