i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
