If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
