69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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