gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize