I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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