dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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