Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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