real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
