if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
