oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
