Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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