Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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