It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
