Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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