what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ladies don't puke and tell
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
