i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
