how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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