the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
