his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
