Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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