He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
