I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
