omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
