Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
