party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
