Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
