Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
