I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
