cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize