Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
