Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
