I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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