im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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