Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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