Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I am morally bankrupt
Everything about him screamed your future.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
