I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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