omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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