I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
