you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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