i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
