No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
