At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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