I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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