I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
