Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
