In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
