Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
