I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
