Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize