Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
