She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
