my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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