Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
