If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
