I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
