kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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